silence

I've agreed to the silence now, but it still feels oppressive. It feels like I'm being punished for something I didn't do. It feels like I'm being shut out. I understand the need for some space -- you need to concentrate on some important matters. I get that. It just doesn't make it any easier to be cut out of your life. I want to be IN relationship with you. That's what loving someone means.

I wonder about your feelings for me. I wonder if it has been painful for you to be cut out of MY life. You said it was "strange" not to talk to me every day, but you didn't say it was painful or difficult. Is it that you are so hyper focused on your issues that you just can't deal with your feelings for me? Is that it? Is keeping me silent a way of setting me aside so that you don't have to deal with me? I suppose it is. I suppose I shouldn't take offense to that. I'm being selfish.