Friday, August 20, 2010

anguish part 2

Feeling lots of heart ache this morning. I'll have to try very hard to stuff it and concentrate on work. What I know intellectually and what I feel in my heart are leagues apart and I just can't reconcile them right now. I'm not keeping my gmail account open at work today -- I'm absolutely neurotic about it and I need to quit cold turkey. I'll check it at lunch time and that's it. I can see that there are some lessons to be learned through all of this -- just wish it didn't have to hurt so much. I'm back to contemplating life alone and that really SUCKS.

I decided to leave work early. I've been on the verge of tears and just wanted to be home where I can release them when I need to. I've been praying almost without ceasing.

How do you stay away from someone that you love? How do you purposely cut yourself off from them? I feel like you've been ripped out of my life -- like a bandage removed from a wound.

No comments: