overwhelmed

It's been a crazy week. It's always like this when sports start and I have to figure out how to get Jenna to practice, get the stuff that she needs and get myself to work all at the same time. It was a busy week at work with freshmen orientation and open house events. Then two evening meetings and other stuff to think about. Jenna has no concept about how much I'm juggling and how much I bend over backwards to accommodate her needs and her schedule. Getting Jared to college, being an adviser to Jasmine and all Jenna's stuff is all on me. James is completely removed from it all and can't even provide monetary support to help relieve some of my responsibility. It's ridiculous and sad that he has no problem letting me bear all of the parenting burden. I'm so tired... His pathetic unemployment is putting the child support further and further behind. He hasn't reimbursed me for Jenna's expenses and I'm sure he justifies it quite well in his warped mind. Doesn't he realize that his daughter needs therapy because he has abandoned her???

So all this stuff goes on this week and then I crash here alone on Friday night. Alone with my thoughts, alone with my coping, alone with my feelings of hopelessness. I'm beginning to think that I'm never going to be able to be in a relationship again. There's too much going against me.