anxiety

I've realized what it is that I'm feeling is ANXIETY. Yes, my heart is aching, but the swirling feeling in my chest and tears ever close to the surface are from feeling anxious. I've had this feeling before when I was going through the divorce. It's a feeling that comes what I have no control and have no idea what is ahead. That feeling that the path is dark and my footing is unsure. It's the worst feeling. For someone like me who needs a plan, needs to know what's going on, needs to be able to figure things out, and needs to have some level of control, trusting in the unknown is incredibly difficult. I trust the Lord as much as I do because I reason that "all things work together for good" and he IS in control. Trusting another human being without having any interaction with them is nearly impossible for me to handle. Putting my destiny in their hands causes me great anxiety. I can only trust the Lord right now. I have no idea what direction D will go in. No idea if he will figure any of this out. No assurance that I will be a part of his life. I can only trust that, whatever the outcome, God is in control. He is faithful and he will see me through. Lord, give me your peace and help me trust you. Help me to pray for D for his sake and not my own.