anxious thoughts

I got a bid mired in some bad thinking yesterday (though it had all but dissipated by the evening). When I checked my AOL mail, an article in the news feed caught my attention. It was about a new book written by a journalist whose fiancé of ten years confessed that he was gay. The book apparently covers the aftermath of this broken relationship and how she sort of goes on a sex spree. That's not what bothered me. It was the way her ex described his change of behavior (so to speak). It sounded a bit familiar and it kind of freaked me out. He said that he had fantasies about sex with men. When the author checked his laptop (she was given access to the password), she found gay porn and craigslist men for men posts (among other things). When she confronted her fiancé about the posts, he confessed that he had been meeting up with men for over two years. So then I did a really stupid thing, I looked at some of the craigslist posts in this area. It made me sick. To think that D would have ever been involved in such a thing, tears me apart. It is so dark and depraved.

My hope is this: God is greater. Jesus died for this. We were all depraved and sinful until Christ bore it all on the cross for us. Hallelujah! We have a redeemer who provides us victory over the darkness! I believe in the redeeming power of Christ in us -- in D.