parenting in the rough

It is heart breaking for me to see my children suffer "unnecessary roughness". That is -- a situation that could have been dealt with in a kinder more gentler way. The long anticipated visit with dad and girlfriend came and the situation was as I expected it to be. Girlfriend lives with Dad, Dad soft pedals his obvious wrong choice by presenting a pitiful excuse, Dad further plays out self-centered choice by having girlfriend sleep in his bed while his children are under his roof (after all, with four kids in the house there was no other place for her to sleep :|). So our loving children, always willing to extend grace and give the benefit of the doubt, accept the situation for what it is and even go so far as to rationalize it. They like the girlfriend and she seems to be holding dad together. What about the moral dilemma? What about the contradiction to what they have been taught? What about the disappointment? What about the stonewalling? These are the issues that really upset me. The man doesn't have the guts to call it like it is and face the fallout. The selfishness is unmistakable. There has been absolutely no consideration of the children's feelings in this matter and an assumption that they will just live with it. So, I do what I can with some damage control -- honest feelings, disappointment, right & wrong, God's way, God's grace, choices based on what is true and what is right not excused by what other people choose to do. Love, tears and hugs. Prayer for wisdom, forgiveness, grace and mercy.